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End Measured Mile

by Make Do And Mend

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1.
Believe me when I say that there will always be cold days, but the grass is only greener here if you plant it that way. So you can lock yourself away, give up, forget, go back to sleep, or you can realize that there is so much more to life than yesterday. I don’t need a life preserver to keep my head above the waves, no matter where the current takes me. 'Cause I want to find out what it means to walk an even plane where I don’t need a pacifier to keep my wits about me I’m writing the letters on the wall to remind myself to get back up every time I fall. And maybe just wading will save me, and maybe the ebbing tide will suck me underneath. I’ve had so much trouble keeping all these worries from my head. I’ll keep swimming, I’ll keep swimming I’ll keep swimming 'til I’m dead. I don’t need a life preserver to keep my head above the waves, no matter where the current takes me. 'Cause I want to find out what it means to walk an even plane where I don’t need a pacifier to keep my wits about me This is the day we all begin to let our fear go and learn to swim. I don’t need a life preserver I don’t need a life preserver
2.
Oak Square 03:04
I climb the wooden stairs to my apartment in the city with dark brown molding and white walls. I search my bank account for traces of the forty-hour weeks I’ve been working since last fall. Give me a list of alarms to set, I’ll tuck myself into bed and hope that I can sleep in on the weekends. Another slave to a paycheck, a silent servant to my monthly rent, what’s keeping me from sinking in the deep end? Now there’s something to be said for a firm lack of common sense, 'cause god knows getting in the van isn’t paying rent. And now my older friends are all getting married with kids, and I’m just stoked to play a basement. - Give me a list of alarms to set, I’ll tuck myself into bed and hope that I can sleep in on the weekends. Another slave to a paycheck, a silent servant to my monthly rent, what’s keeping me from sinking in the deep end? And all I can do is stall while the plans we make become grit in the storm drain’s teeth, and the rain is getting harder every week. Now the plans we make become grit in the storm drain’s teeth, and the puddles are growing deeper at my feet. Give me a list of alarms to set, I’ll tuck myself into bed and hope that I can sleep in on the weekends. Another slave to a paycheck, a silent servant to my monthly rent, I'm sinking, I'm sinking I'm sinking, I'm sinking, I'm saying I'm sinking again
3.
Ghostal 03:35
When they ask me whether you mean more to me than moving pictures on a T.V. screen am I supposed to say that I was young when you left and you don’t keep in touch these days, or that the bottle had its say and took you away? I wonder if you know your family misses you so The hardest lessons learned No matter where you go, no matter where you go Are the ones you learn alone And last time I saw you, there was a stranger in the skin of someone I once knew, someone that I thought was stronger than addiction and decay. You are the one who got away, and now we’re forced to stand by helpless and watch you sinking like your coast in the pacific waves. And I would call even though you won’t pick up to hear your voice like a ghost on the machine, “This is the home of someone you do not know, a past life you never wanted to leave.” - I wonder if you know your family misses you so The hardest lessons learned No matter where you go, no matter where you go Are the ones you learn alone I wonder if you know It’s like the time that I burnt my hands on Pop’s lit cigarette. You held me in your arms and said that the pain was something I’d forget. Now that you’re running away from the bed you made yourself I wonder if there is something I could say to take your pain away. And I wonder if you know your family misses you so The hardest lessons learned No matter where you go, no matter where you go Are the ones you learn alone
4.
I don’t know who you are, and it’s too hard to keep pretending that you’re more than the mark of an old scar that doesn’t hurt anymore. And I’ve grown numb of the fear that everything I’ve done was being controlled by the father, by the son, by the holy ghost you’ve become. But I would fold my hands and buckle to my knees, and I would pray the sky would fall down on me. And I would stumble to the shore to be baptized in the waves if it meant that everything we know doesn’t go away, someday. And I know my mother cries when she realizes I don’t love you like she does, but still she bows her head and prays that you forgive me. So what does that make me? The unloving, ungrateful son of a saint? What if that makes me the monster an angel raised? But I would fold my hands and buckle to my knees, and I would pray the sky would fall down on me. And I would stumble to the shore to be baptized in the waves if it meant that everything we know doesn’t go away, someday. It’s so cold in the shadow of their faith, but I will not be crushed for heaven’s sake. But I would fold my hands and buckle to my knees, and I would pray the sky would fall down on me. But I would fold my hands and buckle to my knees, and I would pray the sky would fall down on me. And I would stumble to the shore to be baptized in the waves if it meant that everything we know doesn’t go away, someday.
5.
I spent my night sweating through my clothes, and screaming 'til my throat ached like burning coals. Still it’s not right now that everything I know gets caught between the gnashing teeth of the hype machine. And so it goes… I’ve never felt more alone.
6.
There must be perfect words for feeling alone around the people that love you. They hide their concern, and keep their mouths shut while they watch you come unglued. “You are their oldest son! They raised you better to be healthy and strong!” I haven’t felt that way in so long. But I’d be fine if I could just shake this feeling that all I am is spinning out of control. And it’s slowly becoming clear that your friends and your family can’t bear to tell you that they’ve been watching as you get worse all these years. And it’s still there, the rising fear that your dependence is more than your share, and you’re one step closer to nowhere near. But I’d be fine if I could just shake this feeling that all I am is spinning out of control. Tonight it’s hard not to feel like a failure when I count the scars on my fingers and know there’s nowhere else to go. I’m finding out that all this means is I’m falling apart at the seams, I’m finding out that all this means is I’m falling apart, I’m falling apart at the seams, seams, seams, seams But I’m coming clean. And there’s not much room to breathe between my inconsistencies and the constant reminder that I’ve always been this weak. But I’d be fine if I could just shake this feeling that all I am is spinning out of control. Tonight it’s hard not to feel like a failure when I count the scars on my fingers and know there’s nowhere else to go.
7.
Keep This 03:05
We let the years pass and shatter us like glass. We let our ships crash against the banks of our regret. It’s not that I can’t grasp all of the things we let collapse, I just wonder what’s the sense in looking back 'Cause I don’t think there’s something I would trade for the food stamps and the rent we barely make. So maybe I’m fucking up, but that’s a chance I’m going to take. I’m just waiting for the rain to clean my slate. It’s so hard to believe that by December we’ll see Europe while my friends at home are decorating trees. And this gift that I’ve received comes instruction free, and that’s exactly how I want my life to be. So I don’t think there’s something I would trade for the phone calls and the time I've spend awake. 'Cause last night I lied awake and watched her sleeping next to me, and as each breath left her chest it occurred to me… - I don’t think there’s something I would trade for the endless list of the mistakes I’ve made. Maybe I’m fucking up, but I think that that’s ok, just so long as I’m learning every day.
8.
Thanks 03:46
Well I’ve been wading in your waves up to my chin, sinking slowly deeper as the waves roll in. Losing sight of land, I’m wondering, “How’d I ever trick myself to get back in?” Believe me, there’s no harder thing in this life than believing that happiness is within my arm’s reach and seeing that there is beauty in this world that I have been missing, and I don’t want to miss no more. These are the days that are putting wrinkles on my face, and I’ve been forced to admit that the slightest weight could bury me. And now the leaves are turning on the trees and there’s a map between me and what I need. I don’t know if it needs me, it feels like I’m sinking. I’m throwing darts at a map, trying to remember where I left my heart last. So when the van’s packed up and the tank is filled with gas, we can make our way from the east coast to the west. And you could call… Or I’ll see you all next summer or next fall, and we can talk about the year we spent apart since the last time every city stole my heart. These are the days that are putting wrinkles on my face, and I’ve been forced to admit that the slightest weight could bury me. And now the leaves are turning on the trees and there’s a map between me and what I need. I don’t know if it needs me, it feels like I’m sinking. 'Cause these are the days that are putting wrinkles on my face, and I’ve been forced to admit that the slightest weight could bury me. And now the leaves are turning on the trees and there’s a map between me and what I need. I don’t know if it needs me, it feels like I’m sinking. These are the days that are putting wrinkles on my face, and I’ve been forced to admit that the slightest weight could bury me. And now the leaves are turning on the trees and there’s a map between me and what I need. I don’t know if it needs me, it feels like I’m sinking. Yeah I don’t know if it needs me, it feels like I’m sinking. Yeah I don’t know if it needs me, I know I’m sinking.
9.
Firewater 04:21
Tonight I set out on a journey from behind your ears and your neck down along the sharp curves of your spine. I hear you whispering like a seashell that is trying to keep the ocean in, tucked in the sand dunes of your skin. No matter how hard that we beg, the miles take you away, and there’s nothing that we can say. You’re leaving me and I realize this, hell has an address and I’m standing on its doorstep. And later on I ignore the calls while I watch the shapes our shadows take dancing on the walls. I’m here with you, and you are here with me, and nothing can go wrong, at least until the morning comes. But I can almost see the sunlight through the window, and I can almost taste the warm tears in your eyes, so I wrap my arms around your waist and pull you close to say, “Endlessly, you belong with me.” No matter how hard that we beg, the miles take you away, and there’s nothing that we can say. You’re leaving me and I realize this, hell has an address and I’m standing on its doorstep. There’s no pain I won’t endure to keep my fingers locked in yours; no distance I won’t go. Goodbye Sky Harbor. Over, out, alone.
10.
I spent my night sweating through my clothes, and screaming 'til my throat ached like burning coals. Still it’s not right now that everything I know gets caught between the gnashing teeth of the hype machine. End measured mile End measured mile There was a lasting feeling of comfort in screaming Whoa I spent my night driving empty roads, and feeling more alive than I’ve ever felt at home. And I can't believe that everything I love gets lost between the push and pull of the ego game. And so it goes. And so it goes. I’ve never felt more alone. End measured mile End measured mile There was a lasting feeling of comfort in screaming Whoa We’re all lost between (We’re all lost between) We’re all lost between another road map, another scheme. End measured mile End measured mile End measured mile End measured mile There was a lasting feeling of comfort in screaming (End measured mile) Whoa End measured mile There was a lasting feeling of comfort in screaming (End measured mile) There was a lasting feeling of comfort in screaming (End measured mile)

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released October 26, 2010

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